I began this online chronicle of my journey for several reasons, but the most important being My Why. Since deciding to open up and willingly experience the things I so unwillingly experienced previously, my world and my mindset has changed beyond anything I could have imagined. You’ve read several stories of experiences I’ve had, and shared your thoughts about them, as well as shared some of your own experiences with me, which I genuinely appreciate. There has been some backlash in my personal life, but for the most part, I’ve experienced overwhelming support. So, I thought now might be a good time to recap how things are going with My Why and my journey.
My gifted oldest is my main Why. In the beginning, my husband and I decided to listen to him and his experiences and make sure he felt heard. And never tell him he was wrong or imagining things (as that’s what caused my stress as a kid). I didn’t want to ask leading questions or make a big deal of it, I thought just listening would be enough.
I was wrong.
His anxiety continued to grow. What I didn’t take into consideration was the rest of the world’s reactions to his stories. As a parent, sometimes I forget that I am not the entire world to this baby (excuse me, five year old…) anymore. He was still terrified of the dark and being alone. And he still seemed hesitant to share what he was experiencing.
The constant feedback he was receiving from the world in general (friends, grandma, television, etc.) was that ghosts aren’t real. Imagine how confusing this must have been for him! What I realized was that I was not helping by simply listening to him without judgment. He needed validation.
One day, I made a choice to have a conversation with him that I thought would be much later down the road. But I knew that it couldn’t wait. It was sad and frustrating to watch him react in such an anxious way to his experiences. And, it was bleeding over into all of his everyday experiences, not just the paranormal ones.
We sat down one afternoon and discussed the way he and I are “special”. I explained that I knew what he was seeing and hearing was real, but not everyone else agreed. As the words rolled off my tongue, I could see the anxiety being lifted. He and I had our own special club. For the first time in a while, I saw a child-like lightness in him. We talked about how some people just can’t see or hear what we do, so they don’t believe it’s real. And we talked about the people in our lives that DO believe us and how maybe we should only talk to those people about our experiences. You may think that this was too much for a five year old to comprehend, but he clearly got it. The smile on his face was enough to show me that.
He was so excited about our special club, that as soon as his daddy got home, he promptly told him that he and I had this club that daddy was not invited to be a part of because he was not special like us.
That simple conversation has changed things for us around here for the better. His general anxiety level with day to day things has lessened dramatically. Now, when he hears a “voice”, being the logical and analytical kid he is, will check to make sure it wasn’t another living person in the house first. When he learns it wasn’t a friend or family member, he usually just shrugs and goes about his business. He now tells us these experiences in a very matter of fact way.
While my son was My Why to begin with, along the way I have collected several others. I am working them out on an ongoing basis.
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